


Sleeping Beauty

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-21
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:03:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Spoilers for 2.03 "Minefield." (09/09/2002)





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: This story contains severe violence and angst and Trip Tucker gets tortured. This story is darker than anything else I have written so beware. If angst and violence are not your thing then pass this story by, if you don't mind (or even like) angst read on. Notes to Part 2: I am sooooo sorry to cause you all so much anxiety and aggravation when I placed Trip dangling over that cliff. I will remove him from his precarious position and drag him to safety immediately. NOT (I cackle evilly as I write this). My main goal in life is to win the Trip Tucker Cliffhanger award and he is going to dangle and dangle until I get it. If you thought the end of part one was bad, wait until you get to the bottom of part two. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (oops, I'm cackling evilly again) Have a pleasant day.  


* * *

"Chief Engineer's log, personal. Stardate June 29th, 2152. I was hopin' that I wouldn't keep on hurtin' so darn much, but I just hafta admit that I ain't gettin' any better. The pain goes on and on and there's not a damn thing that I can do about it. "I guess it all started after Johnny rescued Malcolm from that mine outside of the ship. Now that was a scary situation, yes sirree. I was afraid that I was gonna lose both John and Malcolm there for awhile, but I had faith in the Cap'n, and there was no way he was gonna let Malcolm die. It was only after John and Malcolm got back inside safe that my personal troubles began.

"It wasn't too bad at first, only a twinge here an there when I noticed that Malcolm kept gettin' invited to dinner at the Cap'n's table more often than he used to. Both he and Cap'n Archer would get to talkin' about fancy things like Shakespeare and Joyce, stuff way out of my league and they'd leave me sittin' there like a total country bumpkin. Then came the looks and the winks. It was as if they were startin' up some sorta unspoken language between the two of them and leavin' me totally outta the conversation.

"Then the two of them started doin' more stuff together. Shootin' pool, workin' out at the gym, hell they even went to the movies together. Now I'd been tryin' to get Johnny to go to the movies with me for months but he always turned me down, sayin' that the captain shouldn't be seen in such an informal settin' with the crew, but there he was, sittin' with Malcolm at his side right across from me. That's when the bug really began to bite deep and the pain really started to hurt. When the movie started I tried to see if they were holdin' hands or somethin'. It was too dark, but that didn't stop my imagination from picturin' the situation just fine.

"But the worst was yet to come. I pulled a double shift and was on my way home late one night when I caught Malcolm comin' at me from the other direction. He "said" that he was just doing a security sweep, but the fact of the matter was that Reed had just left officers country and the only cabins up there were T'Pol's and Archer's, and somehow I had a very hard time believin' that he was checking up on our Vulcan science officer at four AM. Then Reed tossed me this secret little smile of his and shot a look of intense longin' up the corridor and that's when my heart shattered into a million little pieces because I knew! He and John were lovers!

"Here I'd been wantin' the man for more than eight years now, but I forced myself to stay in this 'buddy/buddy' role 'cause I was sure that Johnny didn't swing the same way, only to find out that when he finally did, he ended up with someone else!

"Well my world just fell apart right then and there. Emotionally I felt like I was totally betrayed by both of them, but when I calmed down some and put my thinkin' cap on I realized that I couldn't really blame them for fallin? for one another. Malcolm's such a hot looking guy with those sexy grey/blue eyes and that silky brown hair, not to mention that drop dead British accent which would send every American reelin'.

"I mighta gone after him myself if I hadn't all ready been in love with John, and as to John...well I fell for him about five seconds after we met. He looked at me with those puppy dog brown eyes of his and I thought he must have been peerin' straight into my soul. Now Johnny doesn't look at me that way anymore. His penetratin' gaze is reserved for Malcolm, and with every glance my heart shatters a little bit more.

"I can't be friends with Malcolm anymore because I'm so damn jealous of him, and I don't think I'll ever get over the loss of John. It doesn't matter that I didn't really ever have him, the pain is earthshakingly strong just the same. It wouldn'ta been so bad if I had been back home. That way I coulda gotten a transfer, or quit Starfleet altogether just to get away from them, but out here I'm stuck. Even though I've suddenly made myself real busy in engineerin' to get out of dinner and other social events of the like, and have spent what little free time I had alone in my cabin, I still keep bumpin' into one or the other almost around every turn, and when I do I get a fresh jab of pain straight into my heart.

"The worst is when I catch the both of them together and I feel totally trapped. We're over a year away from home, and even if I did quit Starfleet I'd still be stuck on this ship as a passenger, or even worse I could hitch a ride with the Vulcan's but they wouldn't get me home that much faster. Not at warp six point five at least. And then what would I do when I got there? I'd still be miserable and alone.

"And now Johnny had me posted on an away mission with him, T'Pol and Malcolm. Seems we've discovered the ruins of some ancient civilization and the Cap'n wants us on the surface to check things out. I don't know how I'm gonna manage spending a couple of days almost totally alone with them. Maybe I'll get lucky and get myself killed. At least that way I'm not gonna hurt anymore."

Trip's words hung in the air as the engineer pressed the stop button on the recorder. Did he really want to die? Had he really reached that point? Did he really have no hope for a future of any kind? Tucker sighed and struggled into his jacket. While he didn't really think he was at the end of the road, yet, Trip knew that he was going to have to find some way to escape this hell he was in. If he didn't....Trip pushed that thought out of his mind. He would deal with the ultimate out later, right now he had to find a way to survive the next couple of days.

________________________________________

It rapidly became apparent that this planet was once the home of a great civilization, but that was hundreds, if not thousands of years ago. The shattered ruins of buildings and homes lay everywhere, but there was no sign of life. The muted tick of T'Pol's tricorder explained why. "There are minute traces of radiation in the atmosphere."

"Radiation?" Reed knew exactly what that meant. This planet had been ravaged with thermonuclear weapons some time in it's past. Archer and Tucker knew the score as well. It hadn't been that long ago since Earth's third world war left behind some scars of it's own, but humanity was lucky. They, as a whole, survived that disaster of their own making. It was obvious that the people of this world did not.

"Trip..." John pointed to a cluster of debris about thirty yards away. "Why don't you and Malcolm go check out those ruins. Maybe you can find some sort of clue as to how this all started. T'Pol and I will stay here and run some additional scans."

Trip didn't like it and Archer could see that he didn't. Now John knew damn well that something had been very wrong with his engineer during the last few weeks, and all of his attempts to get Tucker to open up had failed miserably. The captain hoped that Malcolm would have better luck, but from the look Trip shot him before trudging off and leaving the armory officer to hastily catch up, John didn't think so.

Reed had to work at it, but he was able to match Tucker's rapid pace. Malcolm tried to catch Trip's eye, but the engineer kept his face pointing forward, totally intent on the goal of getting to the ruins as soon as possible, and once they arrived Tucker immediately got to work. "The radiation level's about the same here." Trip's tricorder reported, then Tucker's eyes narrowed as the readings caught his interest. "But I'm pickin' up somethin? kinda weird." Trip kneeled and scanned the ground. "Can you tell what it is?"

"Nope. It looks like a really faint power signature, but there certainly aren't any generators around here." Trip shut off his tricorder and stood up. "Maybe my tricorder is malfunctionin'. I'll check it out when we get back."

Trip shifted to his right in an attempt to ditch Reed under the excuse of further exploration, but the engineer didn't get very far before Malcolm's voice called out to stop him. "Trip, would you mind waiting for a moment."

Trip halted, with his back to Reed. He knew that tone. Malcolm was gonna ask what was bothering him, and the true nature of his feelings was the last thing that he wanted to discuss with one Malcolm Reed, but he was stuck and he damn well knew it. Trip sighed. Might as well get it over with. "Somethin' on your mind, Lieutenant?" Tucker asked as he turned to face the armory officer. "I'd say there bloody well is." Malcolm looked his friend up and down. Trip was coiled up like a tight spring, ready to fight or run from any nearby threat. The only trouble was that Malcolm appeared to be the threat in question. "What's wrong, Trip?"

"Nothin'." Trip was hoping against hope that this answer would satisfy the armory officer, but he didn't really expect it to.

It didn't. "Don't tell me it's nothing. You've been avoiding me for weeks. You've become withdrawn and sullen, and your usual sense of humor and hunger for adventure seem to have been scattered to the four winds. I'm not the only one who's noticed it, John seems quite concerned as well."

John! Trip's jealousy roared into flame full force. Even he didn't call the captain by his first name and he'd been friends with the man for years, yet here this armory upstart was calling Archer by his first name after only a couple of weeks!!! A tiny, rational part of Trip's mind tried to point out the fact that John and Malcolm must care for him on some level if they were worried about him, but Trip's jealousy was so strong that it easily shoved such doubts aside. The engineer just concentrated on the fact that the armory officer now had what Trip so desperately wanted, John, and that fact was ripping him apart.

Trip managed to keep his flaming emotions off of his face, for a little while anyway. He knew Malcolm was waiting for an answer but there was no way that Trip was gonna tell him anything. That feeling of being trapped in a painful situation with no way out closed in around Trip and he had to turn away from Malcolm long enough to keep himself in check.

"Commander?" Reed thought that he might have stuck a chord with Trip and hoped that the engineer was going to finally confide in him, but such expectations were quickly dashed.

"There's nothin' wrong with me, Lieutenant." Once Trip had his impartial mask firmly settled on his face, Tucker turned to face the armory officer. "The warp engine's been a little finicky lately and I've had ta spend extra time keepin' her in shape, that's all."

It was Reed's turn to sigh. He knew Trip's problems ran deeper than that, but he also knew this was all he was going to get out of the commander that day. "If you say so sir." Reed gave up for the moment and turned his attention to his own tricorder. "Let me take a gander at those readings. Perhaps I can ascertain their origins."

"Be my guest." Trip let Reed take over the investigation, thankful that they were focusing on business once again.

Reed had only just begun his scans when a trembling was felt under his feet. "What the?"

Although Trip was from Florida he had spent enough time in California to know exactly what this was. "Earthquake!"

By now Reed didn't need Trip to tell him what the trouble was. The ground was beginning to seriously move as the earthquake began to intensify. "We should get back to the shuttle."

Trip nodded his agreement and the two men began to fight their way over the unstable ground. By the time they got in sight of the shuttlepod they saw that Archer was ready for them. The captain was standing inside the open doorway, urging them on. Behind the rumbling screams of the ground Trip could hear the whine of the pod's engines warming up. T'Pol must have been at the controls, making sure that they were ready to lift the instant the two men were on board.

Archer shouted for them to hurry and both Reed and Tucker had just made it to the side of the pod when a severe rumble knocked both men to their knees. Trip saw that the captain was reaching down toward them with one arm, the other wrapped around a stabilizing handle for support. He and Reed reached up toward the captain, both trying to grip that one hand at the same time.

The captain had a decision to make. He couldn't grab both men at once. They had to come into the pod one at a time. Archer agonized over his decision for a few precious seconds before finally latching onto Reed's arm and hauling the armory officer to safety.

Archer's choice surprised Tucker, but before he could do anything another tremor sent him rolling away from the craft. When he stopped Trip quickly righted himself and started to move back toward the pod, but then a sound stopped him cold. It was the sound of the pod's engines revving up to full power. Before Trip could move any further the shuttlepod, his only hope for salvation, lifted off without him.

The image of Jonathan Archer, still standing in the doorway of the shuttle, getting smaller and smaller as the pod drifted farther and farther away burned in Tucker's mind. Every part of his being was shattered. They left him. John left him. John saved his precious lover Malcolm then had decided that there was nothing else worth bothering about on this planet and left him behind.

That small rational part of Trip's mind tried to file a protest again. John would never deliberately leave him behind. There must be something else going on, but the hurt in Trip's heart overrode such objections.

Suddenly a tremor slammed Trip to the ground but the engineer didn't care. Totally focused in on the betrayal from the man he loved, Trip was overcome with a violent grief of a type that he had never known before. It barely registered that a fissure had opened up beneath his feet, or that he was falling deep into the bowels of this planet. Trip knew that the impact was probably going to kill him, but at that moment he wanted death more than anything else. Tucker's body screamed in agony when he slammed full force onto a hard surface but his mind couldn't be bothered. Trip gratefully embraced that eternal darkness that came calling and was thankful that the pain caused by the horrifying vision of the pod lifting off without him was finally eased.


	2. Part 2

"What the hell are you doing! Trip's still down there!"

Once again T'Pol was grateful that she wasn't susceptible to experiencing emotional sensations, otherwise it might have been difficult to bear up under Jonathan Archer's wrath. The Vulcan could clearly understand his anger. She knew how close the captain and the commander were, but in her mind there had been only one course of action that she could take. "I regret having to leave Commander Tucker behind but the severity of the quake required that I lift off immediately."

Archer grit his teeth. When T'Pol spoke in that "oh so logical" yet totally condescending voice of hers the Vulcan drove him right up the wall. Usually he managed to keep his tempter in check, but today he didn't even try. "You could have waited a few more seconds!"

"If I had waited then the ground beneath us would have given away, causing the shuttle to plummet an unknown distance. The resulting collision would have severely damaged the pod, possibly killing us all."

"You don't know that!" Archer couldn't remember a time when he'd been this angry. "I only needed a few more seconds and Trip would have been safe."

"There wasn't time."

"Yes there was. I was at the door. I could see the structure of the ground. It would have held up long enough."

"You can not be sure of such an outcome."

"Neither could you."

"The logic of the situation dictates..."

"The hell with your logic!" Archer roared. "If anything happens to Trip I am going to hold you personally responsible!" The captain bit off all the further comments that he wanted to make, forcing himself to get a handle on his raging emotions. John felt a wave of panic when he thought about the possibility of Trip being hurt, but it was more than Trip's physical injuries that was scaring the hell out of him at the moment. It was the image of Trip's face just before he fell through a crack in the ground that made his heart lurch. It was a look of absolute betrayal. As if Trip thought that John had deliberately left him behind.

John didn't but T'Pol did, and as much as he wanted to clean the Vulcan's clock right then and there, such pleasures would have to wait. Trip was in trouble and John had to help him. "We'll finish this discussion later, Sub-Commander." John filed her away for the moment and concentrated on the matter at hand.

Across the pod Reed watched helplessly as Archer tried to contact the ship, but the earthquake had sent tons of dust and debris flying up into the atmosphere and the captain was having a difficult time trying to break through the interference. Malcolm was afraid that they wouldn?t be able to get in touch with Enterprise until they entered clear space and that wouldn?t happen for another minute or more. A chafing delay and one they could ill afford. Malcolm had no trouble picturing Trip laying battered or broken on some subterranean fissure and feared greatly for his friend.

Also, if the truth were to be known, Reed was berating himself for not helping Tucker sooner. If the armory officer had been in charge he would have made sure that Trip entered the shuttle first, but when the captain grabbed a hold of him, Reed's choices about the matter dwindled to zero. He couldn't resist that grip for fear of dragging the captain out of the pod, therefore he had no alternative but to allow Archer to pull him to safety before Tucker. At first, the maneuver didn't bother him too severely. Like the captain, Reed was sure that there was enough time to rescue Trip as well, but T'Pol's rapid departure foiled that plan, leaving not only Enterprise's chief engineer trapped in an extremely hazardous situation, but had Malcolm feeling like he failed in his duty to keep his superior officer safe.

Enough of the maudlin foolishness. Malcolm shook himself and started to compartmentalize his feelings with his usual Reed efficiency. He couldn?t change the past, but he could influence the future, and right now the most important thing was to ensure Trip?s safe return to Enterprise as soon as possible.

The pod finally cleared the planet?s troposphere and entered real space. The interference immediately disappeared and within seconds Archer was talking to Enterprise. "Can you get a transporter lock on the commander?" John tried to be professional, but he couldn't help but let a slight tremor be heard in his voice. So much depended on Mayweather's answer. The transporter could be Trip's only chance.

His hopes were quickly dashed. "We can't get a lock, Captain." Mayweather reported. "I'm having trouble isolating the commander's bio-signs from the others."

"The others?" Reed immediately picked up on that. This planet was supposed to be uninhabited. How could there be additional bio-signs?

"Yes sir." Mayweather knew it was strange, but he couldn't doubt his readings. "I'm now picking up hundreds of bio-signs, several meters below the surface."

"Damn." Archer didn't like this. "Apparently there are some survivors down there after all." John looked down at the ruins below him. "They must have taken shelter underground."

Reed nodded. "And perhaps they had some sort of electronic shield to keep themselves hidden from view which was disrupted by the earthquake. That's why we can pick up their readings now."

"What the hell did Trip fall into?"

"Sir." Reed hated to be the one to point this out, but they had to consider all of the possibilities. "If these people are the survivors of some ghastly nuclear war, then they must have been hidden for centuries, and if so they could see any stranger as a definitive threat. If Commander Tucker survived his fall underground, then he could be in real trouble."

Archer's fears magnified tenfold. Trip was trapped down there, somewhere, and there was nothing he could do to help.

________________________________________

Tucker just let himself lay still. At first he thought of nothing. It was calm, peaceful and he desperately wanted things to stay that way, but the aches and pains of his body had other ideas. His ribs cried out for attention and his right ankle radiated so much agony that it could only be broken, but none of that mattered. All of his physical discomforts paled in comparison to the fact that Jon left him here to die.

His mind locked onto the shuttlepod lifting away from him, picturing the incident over and over again. He thought of nothing else for what seemed to be hours, then his misery was shattered when he was grabbed by rough hands who hauled him upright. Trip screamed when they tried to force him to put weight onto his feet. Once they realized that his ankle was broken one of his captors draped Trip's arm over his shoulder and the aliens dragged him off.

Vaguely Trip became aware that he was being hauled through an subterranean labyrinth of some kind. In fact, it looked like a really big civilization lived down here. Trip knew that he should be fascinated by this potential first contact with these underground people, and if this was happening at another time he would be, but ever since that shuttlepod flew out of his life Trip just didn't give a damn about anything anymore.

So when Tucker was hauled before a severe looking alien sitting behind what could only be a desk, though it looked nothing like a desk that he was used to, the engineer was almost detached from it all. It was as if he was watching events unfold from a spectator's perspective, rather than participating in any active fashion. The alien, however, showed an intense interest in this intruder.

The two species were similar. Both were bipeds with two arms, two eyes, one nose and one mouth, but no one would ever assume that the two were the same breed. Where Trip's skin was smooth, the alien's was rough. Where Trip had hair, the alien had scales. Where Trip had five fingers on his hand, the alien had six. Yet it was obvious that the officer in charge wasn't wondering at all about these differences. He seemed to know exactly who Trip was. "So, you've finally come back, have you?"

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Trip had to force himself to pay attention to this man, after all, his life may be on the line here. While he really him didn't care what happened, he still had enough pride left not to want to totally mess this up. "We're just visitin' your planet for the first time. We've never been here before."

Even though this race was new to humanity, Trip could see that the officer was getting more and more angry while he talked. The alien jumped to his feet and rounded the desk in an instant. "Liar!"

The slap rocked Trip hard and he would have fallen if his captors hadn't been gripping him tightly. The alien pressed forward until his face was within inches of the engineer's. "Hundreds of years may have passed, but we have never forgotten the way you ravaged our world with your bombs. The millions you killed with your radiation, but now we will seek our vengeance!"

Tucker knew he was in trouble as soon as the alien opened his mouth. Obviously these people had gone a little nuts living in this subterranean environment. They had this scenario all ready locked in their minds and there was no way that they were gonna believe anything he said. Trip sighed and decided to give it a try anyway, what else did he have to lose. "I'm tellin' you we didn't have anythin' to do with that."

A sharp punch to his gut cut off any further denial. The pain circulated throughout Trip's body with the blow only enhancing the damage to Tucker's all ready broken ribs. Trip bent over gasping, laying limply in his captors arms.

The alien grabbed the engineer by his hair and tugged his head upward. "You're continued denials are farcical." Green colored spittle landed on Trip's cheek, then the alien leaned in and whispered into the engineer's ear. "Do not be concerned. I can assure you that we will get to the truth, using whatever means necessary." He nodded and his companions jerked Trip upright and hauled him out of the office.

Tucker was dragged down a nearby corridor and hauled into an interrogation room, stripped of his clothes and laid out spread eagle on a table and restrained.

Trip really didn't start struggling, mainly because his heart wasn't in it, until he saw them bring out the electrodes. Then he fought fiercely but it was too late. The aliens quickly attached the deadly devices to his arms, legs and genitals. "Don't worry." The interrogator promised, holing the control box in his hands. "I'm not going to kill you." The alien flicked the dial, sending a small shock wave shuddering throughout Tucker's body. A promise of things to come. The alien bent down and whispered into Trip's ear. "You are going to live for a very long time."

Then followed another burst of pain. Then another, and another. On one level Tucker could hear the interrogator's questions. That insistent voice demanding answers which drone in Trip's head over and over again. Tucker knew it didn't matter what he said, he could never satisfy these paranoid aliens, but on another level Trip just didn't care. Jonathan Archer left him here to die, and that fact simply overshadowed everything else, even torture.

Trip's eyes began to fill with unbidden tears. Byproducts of his body's reaction to the pain. Tucker looked up through the watery curtain and tried to focus in on his interrogator but the alien's features kept getting replaced by the image of Jonathan Archer?s face as he last saw it, when the pod pulled away from the planet. Away from him.

To Trip's ravaged mind it was Jonathan Archer who was pressing the control button over and over, not some anonymous alien. It was his friend that was the source of all his torment, not some stranger.

When splinters of agony burned through him again, a little bit of Trip's mind started to detach from reality, then as the interrogation went on, more and more of Trip's consciousness pulled away. It was as if his heart, his soul and the most private part inner being curled upon itself into a little traumatized ball in his mind and shut itself off from the outside world. A part of him knew he was still connected to the pain. Still knew he was screaming every time the electricity arched through his body, but as the interrogation went on that became less and less important. It wasn't long before Trip's mind withdrew completely. He saw nothing, heard nothing, and more importantly felt nothing. The engineer was surrounded by a vast expanse of white. Finally. Peace.


	3. Part 3

Phase pistol at the ready, Jonathan Archer moved cautiously through the underground corridor. The away team landed their shuttlepod in the dead of night, outside, he hoped, of the aliens sensor range. Then he and Malcolm entered the underground labyrinth through an opening made by the ground quake and cautiously made their way toward Trip.

Once inside the passage they were clearly able to pick up Tucker's human bio-sign, and using that as their beacon, they wound their way around the passages, careful not to be seen by any of the locals. Archer had no idea what the current situation was and a part of him didn't want to mess up a potential first contact, but mostly he was worried about his engineer. Trip's face floated to the forefront of his mind again. That look of betrayal had been haunting the captain ever since he was forced to leave the surface, and the only thing that would erase that image was to be able to see for himself that Trip was really okay.

Malcolm nudged his arm and gestured forward with his tricorder. Tucker was only a few meters along the next passage. With renewed caution Archer edged forward, but as they rounded the corner a blood curdling scream stopped them in their tracks. That scream came from a human voice. Trip's voice.

To hell with caution. Archer gave up stealth and ran ahead, following the heart wrenching sound. When he burst into the room his mind latched onto the terrifying tableau. In an instant he took in the image of Trip laying naked on the table, his back arched up in a terrifying convulsion as the hideous electrodes that appeared to be attached all over his body sent another bolt of electricity through the core of the tortured man.

It seemed like it took forever for Archer to process this image, but in reality only a fraction of a second had passed before the captain pressed the firing stud on his pistol sending all of Trip's tormentors to the ground. Knowing that he wasn't usually a vengeful man, John couldn't help it when, just for a second, he truly wished that his phase pistol had been set to kill, rather than stun. Then Archer didn't waste anymore time on the aliens and rushed to Trip's side.

Anguish filled John's soul when he first got a look at his friend. Trip's body was covered with bruises and lacerations, apparently from the fall, and his right ankle was turned at an odd angle, obviously broken. Then there were the electrodes, causing swelling and bruising wherever they were clamped, the worst area being Tucker's genitals which were swollen to twice their normal size. What agony Trip must have endured. John felt a flash of rage and for a moment wanted to give into the urge to beat the crap out of Trip's captors, despite the fact that they were still unconscious, because he was sure that he had arrived too late. Was sure that Trip Tucker was dead.

It wasn't just the fact that Trip just lay there, his body totally limp like a rag doll, or that his head lolled to one side, no it was his eyes. Trip's eyes were wide open, unblinking and seeing nothing. They were just blank, focusing on nowhere. There was no life within them whatsoever, and Archer took this as a sign that there was no life within the body that held them as well. Fighting back a sob John reached out to try to feel Trip's pulse. He did this as an automatic gesture really, a confirmation of the dire reality that he knew in his heart to be true, so he was totally floored when he felt the skin move beneath his fingertips. He actually felt Trip's heart continue to beat under his touch. Trip was alive! Despite the dead look in his eyes, Tucker's body continued to live. There was still hope.

Malcolm had watched all this with a sort of silent despair as he too thought that his good friend had been lost, so he was stunned when he saw the formally quiet captain explode in a burst of energy, frantically removing electrodes from Tucker's body and ordering Malcolm to find some sort of blanket. This could mean only one thing. Trip was alive. Joy filled Malcolm's heart as he cautiously rushed to obey Archer's command. They had to get Trip out of here.

Malcolm found a blanket in a nearby room and brought it to John who quickly wrapped Trip up in a safe cocoon and threw the engineer over his shoulder. With Reed leading the way, the party quickly made their way back to the shuttlepod, stunning any wayward alien who got in their way. Archer didn't give a damn about this first contact anymore. If the human race was lucky they'd never meet up with these people again. Right now all that mattered was getting Trip back to Enterprise and safety.

John held Tucker in his arms while Malcolm took the controls of the shuttlepod and they lifted off. During the trip back Archer became more and more concerned about Trip's condition. Tucker?s heart may have been still beating, but there was absolutely no movement from the engineer. No indication that he was aware that John was there at all, despite the words of encouragement that the captain kept whispering in his ear. Those still blue eyes showed absolutely no signs of life, despite the impending rescue. John had to work to contain the panic that was rising within him. Trip may be alive, but there was something seriously wrong with his friend, something he was afraid that they weren't going to be able to fix.

________________________________________

Phlox hated to be the bearer of bad news, which was sometimes a disability given his chosen profession. He much preferred to tell worried relatives and friends that their loved ones were going to recover, but he couldn't guarantee that, not in this case. Phlox sighed, fighting to gather up enough energy to project a clinical attitude, then hurried along to get it over with.

The doctor stepped from the isolated part of the ward to face Captain Archer and Lieutenant Reed. The two men were quite anxious to learn Commander Tucker's fate, and although Phlox tried to remain passive, he knew the two men weren't instantly reassured by the expression on his face. The doctor decided to give them the good news first. "Commander Tucker should recover completely from his physical injuries. I've regenerated the broken bones in his ankle, and his ribs and the bruises and swelling on his torso and genitals should heal on their own in a day or so. I doubt if there will be any lasting scars or detrimental effects."

Now Archer knew damn well that Trip's physical wounds were the least of Tucker's problems. While it was a relief to learn that Trip would live, John had a sinking feeling that his friend was a long way from being well. "What about his emotional condition?"

"Ah..." Phlox knew that the captain would hone in on that aspect of this most serious situation. The doctor delivered the news straight, knowing that Archer wouldn't settle for anything less. "Commander Tucker appears to have withdrawn into a total catatonic state. He is totally unresponsive and doesn't appear to be aware of his surroundings or the people around him. His body is functioning on auto pilot, if you will. If you put food in his mouth he will eat, pour liquid down his throat he will drink, but so far the commander has not initiated any type of activity or action on his own. It's as if his mind has totally withdrawn from his body, leaving his biological organism to fend for itself. It's quite puzzling."

"Well, you can't really blame him for pulling back." Malcolm pointed out. "He was being tortured after all."

"Yes, but his reaction is still out of character for the man."

How the hell could Phlox say that? Archer and Tucker had been friends longer than anyone else on this ship and he couldn't predict Trip's reactions sometimes. The Denobulan had only known Tucker for a little more than a year. How could he know for sure how Trip would react to something as brutal as torture? "What do you mean by that, Doctor?"

Phlox understood the reality behind Archer's question. Despite the intense pre-flight scrutiny, the doctor knew that most of the crew, including the captain didn't really understand just how deep Starfleet's medical exams went. "You've all undergone extensive physiological check's before you were picked for this mission. Now the study of the human mind has been perfected over the last century or so to become almost an exact science. Physiologists at Starfleet Medical have compiled detailed physiological framework for each of you and these profiles can give me a pretty accurate idea of how all of you would behave under certain situations and reaction to torture is one of the scenarios that has been carefully considered."

Reed finally got it. "And Trip's current conduct is out of character?"

"Exactly." Phlox handed the captain a padd in which he had downloaded Tucker's file. "As you can see Captain, it was expected that Commander Tucker would severely fight his imprisonment. That he would do everything in his power not to comply with his interrogator's demands. Complete withdrawal of his conscious mind was not something that the psychologists predicted."

"Even after all these years physiology isn't an exact science." Archer pointed out. "No matter how advanced it's become. Maybe your profiles are wrong."

"I don't think that is the problem. Other factors are in play here. Something more than just the torture has influenced the commander enough to cause this condition."

Archer knew exactly what Phlox was getting at. "Trip has been down in the dumps lately." John admitted. "He's been working a lot of unnecessary shifts, eating in his cabin, skipping movie night, things like that."

"Ahh? I thought I had noticed something amiss." Phlox remembered back to the night of their last film. It was a real tear jerker. Usually Commander Tucker was front row center for such cinematic showings, and Phlox had thought it odd at the time that the commander was a no show for the event. "So it appears that the commander had begun a sort of social withdrawal even before he left the ship." The doctor eyed Archer carefully. He knew how much the captain cared about the commander and he knew that Archer wouldn't have let his friend's problems escalate for so long without intervention. "I assume you tried to talk to him?"

"Several times." John affirmed. "He never opened up, claiming that everything was fine."

"I tried to talk to him on the planet as well." Malcolm added. "Just before all this happened. It was absolutely no go."

The captain sighed. "I was hoping an away mission would spark his interest in more than work, or at least get him to talk about what was wrong." Archer gestured in Trip's general direction. "You know how that turned out."

"Yes indeed." Phlox thought about the situation for several moments. "It's obvious that whatever was bothering Commander Tucker before the incident on the planet has had an impact on his current condition, and the torture merely intensified the original problem resulting in his current mental state." Phlox couldn't sugar coat this and didn't even try. "I'll be honest with you, Captain. I can treat the mental after effects of the torture. Unfortunately your species has ample cases on record and the path to recovery from such conditions is well known, but I can't even begin until we can reach Commander Tucker and I don't think we will be able to do that until we discover what was bothering him before he left the ship."

Archer's hopes plummeted. He hadn't been able to help Trip with, whatever it was, before all this happened. How the hell was he going to find out what was wrong now with Trip trapped in this mental limbo? John despaired that his friend may never become well again.


	4. Part 4

So the vigil began. Enterprise returned to it's former course but no one aboard was in the mood for much exploration. Trip Tucker had always been the one who was most enthusiastic when it came to discovering new worlds and with his youthful enthusiasm and zest for adventure muted, no one else was interested in unraveling any puzzles of galactic exploration.

Phlox tried everything he could, but he had yet to find a way to pierce through the wall of sensory blockage that the commander had put up. The doctor wasn't the only one fighting the fight. Phlox had suggested to several members of the crew that it might help for them to talk to Trip. A part of the commander's brain had to be processing sensory input on some level and if enough of his friends and colleagues made their cares and concerns known to him, it was just possible that they might get through where he failed.

There were no shortage of volunteers. Everyone on the ship offered to try to help including, to almost everyone's surprise, T'Pol. Most people thought that she and the commander didn't get along at all but apparently there was some sort of respect, if not friendship there, because she was one of the first to offer to help. A schedule was set up, not only to ensure that everyone got their turn to try to assist their friend, but to make sure that someone was with Tucker 24 hours a day. He was never alone.

This went on for more than a week but there was absolutely no change in Trip?s condition. That was when Phlox gave Archer a dire prognosis. "There's nothing more I can do for him, Captain. None of the standard treatments are having any effect and I can't think of anything else to try."

"It all boils down to finding out what was bothering him before he left Enterprise, doesn't it?"

Phlox nodded. "Unless we can determine the root cause of his depression, then I'm afraid that Commander Tucker's condition will become permanent."

Phlox's words settled on the captain like a lead weight. Trip was doomed, unless...a few days ago Archer had thought of a way to help find out what was really going on in Tucker's mixed up head, but the captain hated to act on it. In fact, the entire concept repelled him on a basic level. While John knew he would hate himself if he did this, he would hate himself more if he allowed Trip to remain in this state when it was within his power to do something about it. Archer steeled himself to so the deed, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell Phlox about it. He didn't want the doctor to become an unwitting accomplice.

So John made his way to Trip's quarters alone. He knew that no one would think it strange if they saw him go inside Trip's cabin. The captain had been in and out of the engineer's room several times this week, desperately searching for something that would help Trip wake up. On earlier visits John had no idea what he was looking for, he just searched for any clue that would tell him what was going on inside of Trip's head, but this time he knew exactly where to go to find the information that he so critically needed.

Once inside John made a beeline for Trip's desk. The captain actually sat down in front of Tucker's computer monitor before he was hit by a wave of squeamishness. What he was doing wasn't only unethical and immoral, it was down right criminal. If John were caught he wouldn't only lose his rank and his command, he could be thrown into jail. The captain weighed the risks again in his mind, then threw away any concern he had for his own personal safety. He had to do this. It was the only way to help Trip.

John reached forward to touch a button, then hesitated again. He had a choice of reading the text or having it projected verbally. Archer opted to read. He didn't want any passerby's to hear Trip's voice coming from a room that they knew was empty, and John knew damn well if he was caught that Reed would have no choice but to throw him into the brig, captain or no. Deciding that caution was the better part of valor Archer selected the text display and settled down to read Trip Tucker's personal logs.

________________________________________

Later that evening, after the alpha shift was off duty, Jonathan Archer descended upon sickbay. He dismissed Mayweather who had been sitting with Tucker and told the doctor that he needed to move Trip to his quarters.

Phlox's first instinct was to deny such an outlandish request, but he made himself pause and think about things for a minute. There was no way that Jonathan Archer would endanger his best friend's health on a whim. That was when Phlox knew. "You found something."

"Maybe." The captain admitted. "I think I've learned what's at the root of all this." John gestured to the still form of his friend, still laying there with those cold, dead eyes wide open.

The captain?s confession excited Phlox tremendously. "Well, what is it?"

John hesitated. "I'm afraid that I can't tell you, Doctor."

"What?"

Archer knew that Phlox wasn't going to like this, but he had to be firm. "I've learned something about Trip's personal life that's confidential. It wouldn't be right to share it with you."

"Captain Archer." Phlox raised himself to his full height. "I am a doctor. I am ethically and legally bound to keep any information relating to one of my patients confidential. You can tell me."

"No I can't. I can't tell you this."

Phlox peered intently at the captain. He thought he detected just a trace of a rosy hue tinting the captain's cheeks. No, Phlox must be mistaken. There wasn't any aspect of the current situation that would cause Archer to blush. Still..."Captain...you know I only want what's best for Commander Tucker..."

John cut him off. "That's why you've got to let me do this my way." It was time to start begging. "I've got an idea that could help Trip, but you've got to give me some time alone with him. In my quarters, not here."

"Captain, I couldn't possibly allow such a thing. Standard procedure clearly dictates..."

"Standard procedure isn't working!" John desperately wanted to be able to order the doctor to comply, but his captain's rank had no jurisdiction in this arena. He had to argue instead. "You said it yourself. There was nothing more you could do to help Trip, well maybe I can. Let me try!"

Phlox was beginning to cave in. "It's highly irregular..."

Archer pressed his point home. "Look, in Trip's current state is there anything, and I mean anything I could do to make things worse than they are?"

Given the fact that Tucker had totally cut himself off from the rest of the world Phlox had to admit that he didn't think so.

"Then let me try!" John begged. "We have nothing to lose and so much to gain."

Phlox thought it over but realized that it finally came down to one thing. Did he trust his captain or not. It didn't take him long to come to his decision. "When would you like him moved to your quarters?"

John positively gushed out his answer along with his relief. "Later tonight. I don't want the crew to see him. It's hard enough hashing this out with you, I couldn't even begin to think what to tell them."

"I understand." Phlox sighed out his concern. "I hope you know what you're doing, Captain."

"So do I." Archer whispered. "So do I."


	5. Part 5

The transfer was made without incident. Trip was safely deposited on Archer's bed and the pair was left alone. John had arranged for Hoshi to take care of Porthos that night, without telling her why. He didn't want any interruptions.

John just stood there, staring at Trip for a minute. The engineer?s physical injuries had healed, including, John was relieved to see, Trip?s genitals. The swelling had dissipated, returning the organ to normal size, yet the engineer was far from well. Tucker still lay, totally limp, with that lifeless look emanating from his eyes, and John felt a second of trepidation. A part of his mind screamed that he was going to take advantage of Tucker in the worst possible way, but deep down John knew that this wasn't true. It was the fact that Trip wanted this desperately and despaired of ever getting it that caused his consciousness to retreat back behind that mental wall, not the other way around. The captain was convinced that there was only one way to breech those defenses, so he'd better get himself under control and get on with it.

Before John could change his mind, he quickly slipped out of his clothes and then gently removed Trip's tank top and briefs before laying down beside him. John implemented phase one of his plan simply enough and started to slowly stroke Trip. Just lightly brushing his fingertips over the rough porous surface of Tucker?s arm, Archer reveled in the feel of Trip's skin beneath his fingertips. It was rougher than a woman's skin. The rugged surface had been hardened over time.

Rather than being repelled by the texture, Archer felt his arousal begin to stir down below. He could only hope for a similar response from Trip, eventually.

John deepened the contact and widened his range. Gently massaging and kneading the muscles underneath his fingertips. He covered Trip with his touch, leaving only two spots alone, until he had rubbed, handled and stimulated his way though every part of Trip that he could reach.

There had been no visible response from the engineer so far and those dead, blue eyes still stared sightlessly ahead. It was time to ratchet up the intensity.

John covered Trip's body with his own. He wanted the engineer to feel as much of John's skin rubbing against his as possible. Then Archer scooted down a bit, gasping at the little pleasure shocks that shot to his groin when his skin frictioned up against Trip's own, only stopping when his mouth was even with Trip's left nipple.

The captain's neck went into a weird contortion as he tried to keep an eye on Trip's face while at the same time he laved his tongue around the hard, little nub. Trip still lay limply beneath him, no movement was evident anywhere along the engineer's body but did John see, just for one second, a glimmer of life behind those stagnate eyes?

Maybe, but if John had gotten a reaction it flashed by so quickly that it was gone before he could even be sure that it was ever really there. Encouraged however, Archer renewed his efforts by shifting to Trip's other nipple and giving it the same lavish attention as he had the first. It wasn't long before he did notice a reaction from Trip.

Although the rest of his body refused to move, Archer noticed that the engineer's cock was slowly beginning to harden. John didn't take much heart in this, Trip's body had been working on automatic this whole time. Eating when food was placed in his mouth, drinking when liquid was provided via a straw, but the engineer had yet to initiate any action on his own, and John couldn't help but wonder if he was really beginning to crack through Trip's mental barrier or was this stimulus in Trip's groin area simply an spontaneous response.

There was only one way to find out. John shifted his body down a few more feet until his mouth was even with the aforementioned cock and the captain didn't hesitate. This had to work. If he had any chance at all to bring his friend back to the land of the living, this was the way. John started by licking the very tip of Trip's cock, before shifting to nibble up and down the organ's sides. There was no doubt about it, the cock was really beginning to harden, and Trip's wasn't the only one. John felt his own member begin to lengthen and solidify in response. John fought down his own desire and put off his need for relief. His own body's demands didn't matter at the moment. Right now he had to concentrate on Trip.

Archer tried to look upward, but Trip's face was hidden from view so he couldn't see if there was any real reaction or not, but nothing else was moving. Not Trip's arms or legs, just his cock. Archer had to do more. He dived in, taking Trip's entire member into his mouth and began to suck. In and out. Hollowing his cheeks to make a vacuum on Trip's cock, John worked hard to bring Trip off. He started to rub his fingers around Trip's balls and hoped the extra stimulation would be enough to help wake Trip up. At first there was no reaction, but then...did John see Trip's arm move?

Like the flash in Tucker's eyes earlier the movement was so swift that Archer couldn't confirm if it was real, but it was encouraging so he redoubled his efforts. After several more minutes of frantic sucking Tucker's member was rock hard, but there was still no sound from Trip; despite the fact that his cock would soon reach the point where it was going to shoot it's load, whether it's owner was conscious of it or not.

Archer didn't want that to happen, at least not yet, so he pulled back and looked Trip over carefully. While he thought he had seen signs of improvement, Trip's eyes were still as dead as ever. Obviously the blow job wasn't enough to wake Trip up and Archer debated about what the next step should be. He had hoped that Trip would have shown more reaction by now. Shown some solid indication that he was enjoying what John was doing to him, or was even aware what was going on. John was sort of banking the farm on the hope that Trip would wake up in the process of coming, but his efforts so far looked like too little, to late.

John knew he only had one more card up his sleeve. Well, there were two more sex acts that he hadn't tried yet, but there was no way in hell that he was going to take Trip without his active and awake participation. That would be too much like rape. Archer would rather have Trip spend the rest of his life like this, then end up pleasuring himself at his friends expense. So, with actual fucking out of the picture John had only one option left. If this didn't work John was going to give up, go into the bathroom and jerk himself off, crying all the way because he would know then that Trip was truly lost to him forever.

John shifted himself lower until his face rested at the entrance to Trip's groin. He pushed Trip's unresisting thighs apart, then gently pried his ass cheeks open in order to give him access to Trip's entrance. He stroked and caressed the area at first, trying to build up the utmost stimulation, then took a deep breath. This was it. It was now or never. Archer leaned forward and sent his tongue licking and probing into Trip's nether region. John had been hoping and praying for some sort of response and his silent pleas were answered immediately and violently.

"What the hell!"

Trip's eyes blinked rapidly then locked open as his upper body arched upward from the surface of the bed. He mind turned "ON" in one big spasm and the engineer became totally aware of his personage in an instant. Aware but utterly confused. The last thing he remembered was the intense pain caused by amps of electricity arcing through his body, but suddenly, apparently in an instant the pain was cut off only to be replaced by the most wonderful feeling of pleasure coming from his groin area. He barely had time to register the fact that he was, somehow, totally aroused when someone eagerly gathered him up in their arms.

"You're alive. You're awake." A relief filled voice bordering on the edge of hysteria whispered into his ear. "It worked. It really worked."

Trip couldn't believe it. The voice sounded like....Tucker pulled back a little. Enough to get a glimpse of the man who was holding him. The face matched the voice. He was being held by Jonathan Archer. But that couldn't be right. John was in love with Malcolm, not him. This couldn't be real. "A dream."

John heard the mutter and looked into Trip's very confused, but definitely awake and lively eyes. His relief that his plan worked was replaced by a very sudden and urgent need. John slid his hand toward Trip's groin. "Does this feel like a dream?" He asked as he wrapped his fingers around Trip's still very erect cock. Tucker's gasp as the engineer lifted his hips told John that this message was getting across very easily. "Or this?" John shifted his other hand until his fingers were probing Trip's silky chute once again.

Trip's back arched on it's own accord and the engineer tossed his head from side to side in an attempt to contain his rising passion. Trip didn't know how this all came about, but sorting the facts could wait until later. Right now there were more urgent things to attend to. "Don't care." The engineer panted, focusing his lust filled gaze on the vision before him. "Want you. Need you in me, now!"

John nodded. His need was just as urgent, and now that Trip was awake and an active participant Archer could give into his lust freely. John shifted again until the tip of his cock was poised at Trip?s entrance, then he gently started to stuff himself in. 

Trip gasped as he felt the edge of John's cock rub up against the side of his hole. It seemed that John's cock actually kept getting bigger the deeper in he went. It look a while for John to get buried in all the way, then finally Trip could feel Archer's balls slapping up against his ass.

Tucker started crying out in little mewing sounds, tossing his head back and forth as John began to thrust. A glow spread throughout Trip's body and he found himself pushing back, begging John to shove harder, faster. Archer willingly complied then seized the base of Trip's dick with his hand. Trip grabbed the top and they jerked off his cock together. John started groaning and fucking Trip harder, taking long deep thrusts. Both men were covered with a fine sheen of sweat, then John moaned loudly and made a sudden hard and definite thrust. Trip knew he was coming and then the engineer let go as his exploding cock shot a long stream of white along John's heaving chest.

Both men clenched, dragging out the moment for as long as possible, then John collapsed on top of Trip, gasping his recovery for a few seconds until he gathered up enough of his common sense to shift the bulk of his weight off of Trip and curl up by the engineer's side.

For Trip's part he just lay there, panting, totally relishing the fact that he was wrapped up in John's arms and enjoying the post-coital glow. "If this is a dream then I never wanna wake up."

"Don't say that!" Trip could feel John tense up around him again and then Archer began to shake.

"Cap'n?" Trip pulled back a little so he could see John's face and was dismayed to see that Archer was actually crying. The captain wasn't wailing with gut wrenching sobs, but his eyes were wet and the tears rolled down his cheeks. "Johnny, it's all right."

"No it isn't! I nearly lost you."

Bewildered, Trip was surprised at all the emotion pouring out of his friend. More than he had ever seen before as a matter of fact and apparently all of it was directed at him. This image didn't square with the picture of John flying away in the shuttlepod that had been stuck in his head and Trip had to get these warring concepts straightened out. "And that matters to you?"

The fact that Trip had to ask such a thing made John's heart wrench. "Of course it does. This last week waiting for you to wake up has been hell."

"I've been out a week?" Trip still had no real idea what was going on, or how he got here, in John's bed of all places. "What's goin' on, Cap'n? The last I remember was being wired up like a Christmas tree down on that planet." Trip couldn't help but shudder. The memories were still too fresh. "How'd I get up here?"

"The ground quake disrupted the aliens sensor blackout grid and Malcolm and I were able to track down your bio-signs and rescue you from those maniacs." Archer had trouble holding his emotions in check as he remembered the horrific scene. "I'm telling you, Trip, I have never wanted to outright kill anyone before, but it was all I could do to keep myself from paying back those aliens who hurt you in kind."

Trip wasn't used to hearing such venom in John's voice. Archer simply wasn't a violent man. Was John really so enraged over what happened that he actually wanted to seek revenge, for him? "It wasn't that bad."

"The hell it wasn't!" Archer rolled away from Trip and leapt to his feet. The captain released his aggravation by pacing back and forth beside the bed. "You weren't here, Trip. You don't know."

This wasn't helping Trip understand the situation any. He had no idea what the hell the captain was talking about now. "I thought you said I'd been back on the ship a week."

"Your body was." John stopped his pacing, then kneeled by the bed and gently traced the side of Trip's cheek with one finger. "You cut your mind off from the outside world, Trip. You were alive, you were breathing, but it was as if your consciousness and your spark for living were dead. Dead or trapped somewhere deep inside the recesses or your brain, and nothing we could do could bring you out of it. Nothing." Archer's voice broke a little as he remembered Trip's cold, dead eyes.

Tucker tried to process what the captain was saying. He vaguely remembered pulling away from consciousness during the torture. Desperately needing to escape the pain he was feeling. It sounded like he succeeded more than he wanted. "Then how'd I end up here."

Archer hesitated. He knew he was going to have to reveal all to Trip, and quite frankly he wasn't quite sure how the engineer was going to take the news, but they didn't make Archer a captain because he was a coward. John took a deep breath and persevered. "You have to understand, Trip. The doctor tried all the standard treatments and nothing worked. Day after day passed and you didn't get better. From the beginning Phlox was convinced that more was at play here than the aftereffects of the torture. I knew that something had been bothering you for weeks and you couldn't tell me about it." John looked terribly unhappy at that moment. "You don't know how I hated that, Trip. You've always been able to tell me anything and suddenly you cut me off. That hurt Trip. It hurt a lot."

Tucker winced. Here he'd been so wrapped up in his own pain that it never occurred to him that he was hurting someone else. "I had my reasons."

"And I had to find out what those reasons were." Suddenly uncomfortable at being so close to Trip, John took to his feet again. "Phlox was sure that was the key to your troubles, but we couldn't ask you Trip, it was too late for that. Still, I knew there was one way I could find out what was really going on."

"How?" Trip was getting so wrapped up in John's tale that for a minute he forgot that the captain was talking about him. He wanted to know what John did next.

The captain, however, wasn't so animated. He was afraid that Trip was going to hate him but John couldn't hold back. Not now. He had to tell Tucker the truth. "I read your personal logs."

Trip wasn't sure that he heard that right. Reading someone else's personal logs was a violation of the highest sort. He couldn't imagine John breaking that vow no matter what the motivation. He must have heard that wrong. "You did what?"

"I read your personal logs." Archer said again, rushing out his confession. "I know it was wrong, Trip. Illegal even, but I had to do something! I had to find out what was bothering you in order to help you, otherwise you'd still be laying in sickbay in that living-dead coma and it worked, Trip. Because I read your logs I found the source of your troubles and that?s how I knew to try this..." Archer waved toward the rumpled sheets that were evidence of their recent lovemaking.

Trip just lay there, letting the revelation soak in. He was so still that for an instant John feared that he had a relapse, but Trip's mind was working all right. He was torn. On the one hand he felt totally violated. He had poured out his innermost feelings into those logs and the fact that someone else had read them was almost nauseating. On the other hand he had gotten what he'd been dreaming about for many years. Jonathan Archer in his bed. But then a wave of double overcame him. "So the only reason you made love to me was to wake me up?"

"No!" John roared that, strong in his conviction. He quickly lay down next to his new lover and started stroking him again. He had to make sure that Trip believed him now. "I love you, Trip. I always have. I was just too afraid to show it. Afraid that you'd reject me and that we'd lose the friendship that we've always had, but when I read in your logs that you wanted me too, I became desperate. Here we had wasted all those years and now that I finally found that you wanted me, you were lost to me. I had to find some way to get through to you."

"You love me?" Trip had heard most of John's explanation, but his mind had stuck around the one sentence. "You really love me?" He asked again, his voice full of wonder.

"I really love you." John spoke with all the conviction filling his heart.

For a second Trip was full of joy as he believed that he had finally gotten what he had wanted, then the memory of the planet reared it's ugly head and the joy turned into shards of despair. "If you love me then why'd you leave me?" Trip wasn't able to hide his bitterness as he re-lived the emotional devastation that he felt on the planet.

Archer's emotions weren't idle either, but his anger was still directed at his first officer. "That was T'Pol's doing. I knew we had enough time to wait for you, but her damn logic said it was time to go so she lifted, without orders I may add." John fought to calm down. "She and I had it out while you were unconscious. I don't think she'll be trying anything like that again in the near future."

Trip was listening to John complain about the Vulcan, but his mind was focused in on one thing. "So you didn't wanna leave me?"

John tightened his grip around his new lover. "Never in a million years."

"But you hauled Malcolm in first. I thought..."

John knew damn well what Trip had thought. "I grabbed Malcolm because he was the junior officer and needed our protection more, and because I knew you could take care of yourself. I did not choose him over you because I cared for him more, since the opposite is true. I love you, Trip. Nobody else."

He said it again. John loved him. Trip wanted to believe him, but he still was having some trouble..."What about all the time you've been spending with Malcolm since we got caught up in that minefield?"

"I felt bad about what happened to him out there. After all he almost died while saving my ship and since he had finally let his guard down a little I thought I'd take advantage of the situation and try to get to know him a little better. You know that I like to be on good terms with my crew. They were friendly encounters. Nothing more."

Trip wasn't totally convinced. Malcolm was a very attractive guy, one that was hard to resist. "It looked like more than that to me."

John realized that he needed more ammo to win this battle and got off the bed once more. "I want to play you a log entry."

Trip tensed. What part of his personal feelings was John going to expose to the world now.

John saw Trip tighten up, but pressed the play button anyway. Instantly the cabin was filled with a recorded voice. John's voice. "Captain's personal log, December 5th, 2151. It's been weeks since Trip and Malcolm were rescued from that shuttlepod and I'm still not over the fear. I nearly lost Trip. That keeps echoing over and over in my mind. I love him so damn much and I can?t bear the thought that he was nearly taken from me. I?ve managed to deal with the terror a little better now that some time has passed and I can see for myself, every day, that Trip is alive and well, but now I've got a whole new problem. I'm totally jealous of Malcolm Reed."

John kept his eyes on Trip while the log played. The engineer's surprise at hearing John's voice slowly changed to an expression of wonder. The entry continued. "Trip and Malcolm have been almost inseparable since the accident. They are always eating lunch together, working out at the gym, Trip even turned down a pool match with me so he and Malcolm could go to the movies together. I'm sure that they are having an affair and there's nothing I can do about it but just sit here and take the pain. For the first time I wish I had never gotten command of Enterprise, or that we had never left space dock.

"If we were at home I could have gotten a transfer or quit Starfleet all together. Anything to escape the daily sight of the man I love being with someone else, but I'm stuck here. Oh I'll do my duty to keep the crew safe and the mission on track, but it's going to hurt like hell and somehow I have to find a way to live with that."

The recorded voice trailed off and the room was filled with silence for a few minutes, then Trip, unexpectedly began to giggle. It started out as a small chuckle, then it migrated into a roaring laughter. John was stunned and a little hurt at the reaction at first, then he saw the humor of the situation and joined in full force. The laugh fest lasted for a couple of minutes, then the roars petered off into snickers and finally they were quiet. Trip latched onto the captain, pulling him back into bed and holding him tight. "Boy are we a pair of idiots."

"We sure are." John lightly kissed his friend, now lover. "I guess this proves that we're right for each other."

"Yeah." Trip had just finished settling into John?s arms when an odd thought struck him. "Hey, you know we've been livin' a fairy tale here."

"A fairy tale?" Archer thought that their activities during the last few hours were about as far from a children's story as you could get.

"Well, here I was sleepin' away and the only thing that could wake me was the kiss from my prince charmin'."

"You are my sleeping beauty..." John loved the reference and kissed his lover again. "But do me a favor, don't eat anymore jealousy filled poison apples, okay? I promise, you have nothing to worry about."

"I give you my word." Trip said, snuggling in closer. Just then his mind flashed on the torture chamber, but when he shivered he felt John's arms tighten around him. Trip still had a long way to go before he really got over the episode on the planet, but as long as John was here to hold and comfort him, Tucker knew he was going to be okay.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> `

  
Author's notes: `  


* * *

The mess hall was quiet. Usually the room was a buzz with activity, good day or bad, there was always something to talk about, but today...today everyone appeared to be eating, at best in quiet contemplation, and at worst, depressed.

Malcolm Reed knew why of course. Everyone was worried about Commander Tucker. There had been no news since the captain abruptly canceled the crew rotation the night before. Malcolm wondered if ending the friendship visits meant that there was some sort of change in the commander's condition in the offering, but as of yet, there had been no word. Reed forced himself to down his eggs, although food was the last thing on his mind. He was deathly worried about his friend and wondered if he would ever be all right.

A collective gasp from the next table over caught the armory officer's attention and when he looked up he thought he might be seeing things. There in the door way was Captain Archer. A very happy looking Captain Archer, and in a second Malcolm saw why, because following right behind the captain was one very animated and very awake Commander Tucker. "Trip!" Reed jumped to his feet, allowing more emotion to be put on display than anyone had ever seen before when he rushed across the room to gather Tucker up in a big hug. "You're all right."

"I'm just fine, Malcolm." Trip was a little surprised, but briefly hugged Malcolm back before pulling away. He shot a glance at the captain to see if Archer was feeling a tug of jealousy at the gesture, but the captain looked at the display with amusement, confident now that his new relationship was secure.

The rest of the crew in the room gathered around Trip, asking the commander how he felt and wondering what had happened. Trip struggled to answer all of the questions while he made his way over to the food trays.

When the couple had woken up that morning John thought that he'd better get Trip to sick bay. Phlox must have been out of his mind with worry for his patient and Archer wanted to put his fears to rest, but Trip had a more urgent agenda. "I'm starvin', John. Can't we get somethin' to eat first?"

John sighed, realizing the truth that was to shape their lives for many years to come. When Trip looked at him with that sexy, yet little boy look, John just melted. There was no way that he could say no. "Okay, but it's sickbay right after that."

Trip's smile filled his heart. "Thanks Johnny."

So John looked on while Trip started shoveling in food. However Starfleet didn't give him the rank of captain because he was a fool, so John called the doctor to the mess hall forestalling any future protests, explaining that Trip desperately wanted to eat before his checkup. When Phlox arrived he was amazed to see that Trip was not only awake, but appeared to be well on the way to recovery. "How did you do this, Captain?"

There was no way that John could fill Phlox in on the true picture, so he settled for telling the doctor that he tried a new procedure that he had read about somewhere.

"Really." Phlox was most interested. "I would like to learn more about this miracle procedure. What is it called?"

Archer had to think fast. He didn't think "Missionary Position" would be a prudent name, even though it was thoroughly accurate, so he stumbled and said that he didn't remember.

Phlox knew a stone wall when he saw one and gave up on this line of questioning for the moment. The doctor was just relieved that his patient was going to recover.

Satisfied that Phlox was going to let this go for now, Archer settled his back against the wall and just watched Trip for a few minutes. The mess hall had come alive and more crew members were arriving every few seconds as word spread around the ship in order to offer Tucker their good wishes and to truly see for themselves that he was all right. The engineer seemed to preen under all this attention and John relished the fact that his lover was awake and well.

Trip was right, they were living a fairy tale. His sleeping beauty had woken up and John knew that they would live happily ever after.


End file.
